Let’s talk insecurity for a minute (or maybe 10 or 20). Ladies, I’m gonna talk to you here in particular. What is insecurity?? It sometimes hides itself in the most descreet ways. It’s the person reading this blog right now, yeah you, that is making fun or judging me. Even though chances are you don’t really know me. Ask yourself this... why are you “hating” or judging someone you don’t really know? Insecurity. We only hate on or discredit or downgrade things we are personally struggling with.
Let’s backtrack to ummmm, about 10 year old Brooke. I want to say 10 because honestly I couldn’t give you the accurate age as I like to blur out this portion of my childhood. You’ll soon know why. Around this age, I started realizing there were beautiful girls around me. I also started realizing they got the attention. & I’m not just speaking of male attention. They were the “popular” ones. The ones that had the most friends. Hell, even the teacher treated them better. & then there’s me. For all of y’all reading this right now that knew me back then, you’re over there nodding your heads in full on agreeance!! Brooke was awkward, funky, weird. This is not a joke, folks. Don’t believe me, google Bishop Ready High Schools freshman yearbook 1998. I’m there in all my glory. & it’s... for lack of any better words, embarrassing AF.
So, I immediately realized I wasn’t blessed with many naturally beautiful attributes. My hair was thin & stringy. I was pale. I was awkward. I was weird. So me, being a take charge type of girl, decided to take matters into my own hands. Ohhhhhh bad idea!!!!!! The day I decided I needed an overhaul was the time frame in which Baby from Dirty Dancing was everything & yeah, I needed her hair first & foremost to be “all that”. So, what does any 12/13 year old do whilst seeking beauty & left to her own accord in doing so?? Uhhh, a perm, naturally. 🙄🙄🙄 you read that right. I gave MYSELF a perm. This wasn’t even my worst beauty idea to date. It gets better. Needless to say, I didn’t reach Baby level. I moreso reached the chick from Dilbert. What was her name?? I’m currently too lazy to google. Regardless, it wasn’t the hot level I was hoping to achieve. Sooooo then, I decided straight would be better. I had (have) this natural unattractive kink to my hair. It’s not curly, not straight. It just kinda kinks in odd places. It’s hot. What does my young self decide to do??? A relaxer!!!!! RIP my hair as I knew it. Soooooo here I was, fried off hair, baby weight still there, bushy eyebrows oh, & a TERRIBLE sense of style. (I wore over sized overalls with baggy turtlenecks if that says anything at all). to sum it up, I was not attractive, not popular, & definitely not getting seats at the teachers tables. I was picked on relentlessly & with good reason!
Fast forward a few (like 15) years. I finally figured out makeup, how to defrizz my lions mane, & a decent fashion sense. (My bank account agrees with all of the above) why is this story relevant here, you ask? Because I spent a good portion of my life being on the low end of this totem pole of, if you’re not pretty, you’re nothing. Now a days, I’m aight. But I’ve learned it’s not the beauty on the outside that is what truly matters. It’s the inside that counts. Are you a good person? Do you have a good heart & good intentions? Do you live to build people up or to break them down?
Insecurity has ran a great amount of space in my time here on this planet. Comparison. She’s prettier. She’s got better hair (gah hair is one touchy subject for me). She’s got more friends. She’s got a hot husband that adores her. She’s a better mother. The list goes on & on. But why? Why do I worry what “she’s” doing?? Why am I not focusing on my own ball in my own court? Simple. Society makes it almost impossible. Society almost MAKES us compare, worry, seek value. It’s hidden in the men we see. The ones that sit right next to you whilst roaming the room for other eye candy. The person sitting next to you talking about how gorgeous someone else is. The person you’re with adding & following other gorgeous females & you’re wondering why you’re just not good enough.
Ladies, were being pitted against one another in a virtual fighting venue. & we’ve fallen into it. So here we are, angry or jealous of the girl that has what we don’t. Hating on the woman that has it all together, or so we think. We’re “battling” with pictures & posts to “out sexy” the next one in hopes to draw the attention back to us. We’re turning on one another in the worst of ways!!!! The amount of infidelity right now is at an outstanding high because we DONT TALK TO EACH OTHER. we’d rather not upset the guy in order to keep our “standing” with him in which, let’s all be honest here, is a low low placement. Why do we want to settle being one of many???
Yes, I’m insecure. But I’ll be honest here, most of us are. & I am working hard daily to try to overcome & fix mine. But it’s not just a switch. & it’s also controlled by outside variables we can’t control ourselves. So we fall victim or prey to. What we all need to stop & remember here, is we are human. Every single person is beautiful in their own ways & their owns rights. We aren’t all everyone’s cup of tea & that’s okay. But when we start to turn on one another, that’s when we just start falling apart. I was told today there’s a person on my Facebook relaying information & not only that, but making fun of me. You know what, go ahead. You’re not my business. Your opinion isn’t my business. & honestly, I feel bad for you. For a lot of reasons. But if you feel the need to be here simply to get your rocks off, pop that popcorn & enjoy the show, love.
I’m here because I’ve been through a LOT & I feel God has given me a forum to use my struggles as a way to empower. You don’t like it, there’s this super cool unfriend, unfollow, buh bye button to be had. No skin off my back. But for the supporters. The women that choose to fix one another’s crowns other than beat & berate one for following their dreams.... this is your place. I used to think I had to have it all together to be here & do this. Hello, 35 years later, now I’m here to tell you you don’t have to have a thing together to inspire & uplift. There’s literally no expectation for your life. It’s led at your own pace, on your own time. & it’s literally allllllll okay. To the people that love me, never been more greatful for you. To the people that hate me, I still love ya 😘😘
Xoxo
B
Let’s backtrack to ummmm, about 10 year old Brooke. I want to say 10 because honestly I couldn’t give you the accurate age as I like to blur out this portion of my childhood. You’ll soon know why. Around this age, I started realizing there were beautiful girls around me. I also started realizing they got the attention. & I’m not just speaking of male attention. They were the “popular” ones. The ones that had the most friends. Hell, even the teacher treated them better. & then there’s me. For all of y’all reading this right now that knew me back then, you’re over there nodding your heads in full on agreeance!! Brooke was awkward, funky, weird. This is not a joke, folks. Don’t believe me, google Bishop Ready High Schools freshman yearbook 1998. I’m there in all my glory. & it’s... for lack of any better words, embarrassing AF.
So, I immediately realized I wasn’t blessed with many naturally beautiful attributes. My hair was thin & stringy. I was pale. I was awkward. I was weird. So me, being a take charge type of girl, decided to take matters into my own hands. Ohhhhhh bad idea!!!!!! The day I decided I needed an overhaul was the time frame in which Baby from Dirty Dancing was everything & yeah, I needed her hair first & foremost to be “all that”. So, what does any 12/13 year old do whilst seeking beauty & left to her own accord in doing so?? Uhhh, a perm, naturally. 🙄🙄🙄 you read that right. I gave MYSELF a perm. This wasn’t even my worst beauty idea to date. It gets better. Needless to say, I didn’t reach Baby level. I moreso reached the chick from Dilbert. What was her name?? I’m currently too lazy to google. Regardless, it wasn’t the hot level I was hoping to achieve. Sooooo then, I decided straight would be better. I had (have) this natural unattractive kink to my hair. It’s not curly, not straight. It just kinda kinks in odd places. It’s hot. What does my young self decide to do??? A relaxer!!!!! RIP my hair as I knew it. Soooooo here I was, fried off hair, baby weight still there, bushy eyebrows oh, & a TERRIBLE sense of style. (I wore over sized overalls with baggy turtlenecks if that says anything at all). to sum it up, I was not attractive, not popular, & definitely not getting seats at the teachers tables. I was picked on relentlessly & with good reason!
Fast forward a few (like 15) years. I finally figured out makeup, how to defrizz my lions mane, & a decent fashion sense. (My bank account agrees with all of the above) why is this story relevant here, you ask? Because I spent a good portion of my life being on the low end of this totem pole of, if you’re not pretty, you’re nothing. Now a days, I’m aight. But I’ve learned it’s not the beauty on the outside that is what truly matters. It’s the inside that counts. Are you a good person? Do you have a good heart & good intentions? Do you live to build people up or to break them down?
Insecurity has ran a great amount of space in my time here on this planet. Comparison. She’s prettier. She’s got better hair (gah hair is one touchy subject for me). She’s got more friends. She’s got a hot husband that adores her. She’s a better mother. The list goes on & on. But why? Why do I worry what “she’s” doing?? Why am I not focusing on my own ball in my own court? Simple. Society makes it almost impossible. Society almost MAKES us compare, worry, seek value. It’s hidden in the men we see. The ones that sit right next to you whilst roaming the room for other eye candy. The person sitting next to you talking about how gorgeous someone else is. The person you’re with adding & following other gorgeous females & you’re wondering why you’re just not good enough.
Ladies, were being pitted against one another in a virtual fighting venue. & we’ve fallen into it. So here we are, angry or jealous of the girl that has what we don’t. Hating on the woman that has it all together, or so we think. We’re “battling” with pictures & posts to “out sexy” the next one in hopes to draw the attention back to us. We’re turning on one another in the worst of ways!!!! The amount of infidelity right now is at an outstanding high because we DONT TALK TO EACH OTHER. we’d rather not upset the guy in order to keep our “standing” with him in which, let’s all be honest here, is a low low placement. Why do we want to settle being one of many???
Yes, I’m insecure. But I’ll be honest here, most of us are. & I am working hard daily to try to overcome & fix mine. But it’s not just a switch. & it’s also controlled by outside variables we can’t control ourselves. So we fall victim or prey to. What we all need to stop & remember here, is we are human. Every single person is beautiful in their own ways & their owns rights. We aren’t all everyone’s cup of tea & that’s okay. But when we start to turn on one another, that’s when we just start falling apart. I was told today there’s a person on my Facebook relaying information & not only that, but making fun of me. You know what, go ahead. You’re not my business. Your opinion isn’t my business. & honestly, I feel bad for you. For a lot of reasons. But if you feel the need to be here simply to get your rocks off, pop that popcorn & enjoy the show, love.
I’m here because I’ve been through a LOT & I feel God has given me a forum to use my struggles as a way to empower. You don’t like it, there’s this super cool unfriend, unfollow, buh bye button to be had. No skin off my back. But for the supporters. The women that choose to fix one another’s crowns other than beat & berate one for following their dreams.... this is your place. I used to think I had to have it all together to be here & do this. Hello, 35 years later, now I’m here to tell you you don’t have to have a thing together to inspire & uplift. There’s literally no expectation for your life. It’s led at your own pace, on your own time. & it’s literally allllllll okay. To the people that love me, never been more greatful for you. To the people that hate me, I still love ya 😘😘
Xoxo
B
